Mum to: Violette
Find her at: @_laurabird_
Let's be honest, when baby first comes home the best show of love your partner can give you is to LET YOU SLEEP. And once you get your footing in the whole new-parenting thing, and the dust settles, you start to remember who you were before baby came. My husband and I made a pact, before our daughter was born, to remember to put our relationship first, and not forget ourselves. And here's how we manage to do that (most) of the time:
+ Be gentle with each other
. You're both tired, over-worked, accomplishing more than you ever knew you could. Say sweet things to each other and don't lose your cool, even when you're crazy sleep deprived.
+ Be patient.
When baby came home, the steamiest thing about our relationship was the fact that I showered. A real luxury, too. Give it time.
+ The small things count.
We leave each other love notes all over the house. Written on the bathroom mirror (after said shower). On a grocery list. Texts to each other. Little reminders of love do wonders.
+ Keep your sense of humor
. Things are different after kids, intimately and otherwise. Oh what's that? Finally got a quiet moment together? Light some candles, put on some music, and the baby monitor goes off (it's like they have a secret sense for it). Remember to laugh with each other.
+ Do activities without your partner
. No really. All your conversations start to revolve around what baby ate, when she slept, and baby poop. Not exactly romance inducing. Go out with friends separately. Go to the gym alone. Have hobbies just for you. The space will give you time to breathe, perspective, and bring more to the table to talk about together.
+ Go on dates.
Time alone without baby will be important too. You might not be able to do this at first, but once you're able and comfortable enough - go out just the two of you and do adult-only things.
+ Get creative.
All the things that you did before were clearly great (hello, you have a baby). Trying new and unexpected things help you to see each other in a new (if not slightly bemused) light. Best case scenario you remind each other of how in love you are. Worst case scenario, you'll have plenty of new material for keeping your sense of humor alive. Win win.